A friend of the family recently pointed out to Tim and me that we apologize for things we don't need to be apologizing for. This was not the first time someone has called us on this. Maybe it was his tone of voice or the seriousness in which he delivered the observation but it gave us both pause.
  Since that uncomfortable realization I've made it my intention to not say  "I'm sorry" when I think I've let someone down. I've stopped saying I'm sorry every time I think I "should have" done something differently - answered an email faster, picked up my house better, returned a friend's call quicker, bought a more expensive gift, run that 5K fundraiser. What it comes down to for me is realizing I don't need to live my life according to someone's else's "shoulds".  If one chooses to judge me their judgement is no reflection on whether I'm living my life accordingly. I have to keep reminding myself that those who harshly criticize others are extremely critical of themselves. I'm as guilty of this as the next.
 What's making me think about all this right now is Dax. Lately, he's been talking about how sad it makes him when a kid he doesn't even know won't play with him at the Rec Center day care. Or when his own brother pushes him away because he just needs his own space.
 Dax is intense and he doesn't get why others aren't always up for being intense with him. Hey, I say. Buck up. Some will love you and others will not. Dax looks up at me with his big sea foam green eyes and says, "Why mama?" And I say, "Well, do you like all the kids at school?" "Noooooo," he says. And then he rattles off the personality traits of those that annoy him. One has an ugly laugh, another breathes through his nose funny, one kid eats chocolate pudding every day and that's bad for your body, he adds.
 See Dax, not everyone is on your best buddy list. And for whatever reason, you're not on theirs. But instead of pouting about it, be cool. Go surround yourself with people who appreciate your zest for life. Your insatiable curiosity and gazillon questions. Be a little more thick skinned. "What does THAT mean mama?" I tell him, don't show them that you care so much. The next time the boy at the Rec Center says, "Leave me ALONE," walk away and leave him alone. And don't be too sad about it because there will be a kid a few minutes later that would love to join you in a leap from the top of the Little Tykes slide and make loud fire truck sounds.
 Be thick skinned. I'm giving advice to my son I should be giving myself. No more wussy apologies. No more feelings of guilt for just living my life the way I want to live my life. And not caring so much if I happen to not be at the top of someone's best buddy list.