We leave for St. John on Monday and after being housebound for the past day and a half with a sick child, I'm needing this time away with Tim that much more. I'm in such need of a change of pace and a change of scenery. Change reinvigorates me and makes me feel more alive. And it's been far too long since I've floated in bathtub-warm ocean water while coral fish swim below. It's been far too long since I've seen the sun set on a beach, or walked hand in hand with Tim along a bay as the waves lap at our feet. I want a mango smoothie, to eat lots of fresh fish, and swim with sea turtles and tangs. But with all that said, I'm still a little anxious about being apart from my sweet boy. Even though Dax is in the most loving hands while we're away, I've never been apart from him for more than one night. And now we'll be gone for a whole week. A whole flippin' week! Ok, just breathe. Dax will probably cry hard for 15 min. and then he'll be smiles for the rest of his stay with Papa Buzzy and Nanna. And then with Auntie Wendy there too, I think Dax is truly going to have one of the best weeks of his life. He may not even want to come home. Or am I just trying to assuage the guilt that I feel perhaps? I've never been one to think that I deserve something good - like a Caribbean vacation. When it comes to splurging on myself, I feel I have to earn it first with hard work. Perhaps twisted logic but it's how I've always operated. Luckily, I married a man who has no qualms about making sure we have the creature comforts on this vacation that I might have forgone - like pro-dealing us top-rated snorkel gear and an underwater camera. We balance each other out. I like that. And as for Daxie, we'll be calling him every day from the island and listening as he shares with us his adventures that day in his squeaky, little voice. I know I'll cry every time I hang up the phone, but I'll look around at my jungle landscape, hear the tree frogs peeping all around me, and see Maho Bay below and I won't regret my decision to be there.