I've come to a profound realization; when those I'm close to ask me to give them "honest" advice, I need to remain neutral or completely refrain from giving it at all. It was my best friend Corinne who helped me shed light on this conundrum. My argument to her was, if those I care about are sincerely asking me what I think, don't they deserve an honest answer? "Hell no," she says. But that's what I do. I don't sugar coat, I don't do "cheery" just to make someone feel better and I certainly don't lie. The point Corinne was trying to make was that when someone says "Tell me what you really think", what I should be hearing instead is, "Please don't actually say something I'm not ready to hear." You got it, I won't. I've never been good at making "light" conversation or putting on a fake smile and saying something my heart doesn't believe. I've always just spewed forth sage advice whether I think the person on the receiving end can handle the rawness of it all or not. But boy it's gotten me in trouble and I'm tired of ending up being the bad guy because I actually spoke my mind. It's not worth it. In the end, those I love will either resent me for being too crass, get defensive over my point of view because they simply disagree or hold me responsible in some way. Tim and I have spoken at length about our differing styles - I call it like I see it and he puts a grin on and says something complimentary. After all these years living out West, he says I should at least drop the East Coast edginess and become a true Westener - which is, don't actually share what you're really thinking! I think he's right. So for all those I love out there that are reading this - if you truly want my input, you will have to really convince me you're ready to hear what I have to say. And even then, you might get a wishy-washy answer. I'm finally letting myself off the hook and it feels great!