When I was in my 20's and early 30's, I had dozens of healthy friendships with women. Many of these girlfriends are still a part of my life and very dear to me. I wouldn't be the woman I am today without their guidance, love, and loyalty. But there was always one or two who had a quirky, narcissistic personality. It was this friend who would call me in a panic or in tears and proceed to dominate my time with her self-induced drama and like a fool, I gave her my ear, I gave her my sympathy and when the conversation was over, I felt completely used up. These women were crazy. They spent their entire lives completely consumed by their own issues - they had unhealthy relationships with their families, they had eating disorders, self-esteem problems, boy problems, school problems, and work problems. Like a idiot, I kept listening and worse yet, I kept befriending other women like them. And what I'm trying to figure out is what was going on in my own life for me to be drawn to such nuts? I think the answer is I had so much going on that when I was bombarded with their complicated stories, I was given a temporary pass from my own perplexing problems. I could focus on their doomed fate and feel lucky I wasn't them. But with age does come wisdom and I am happy to report that I stay clear of female friendships that even have a hint of drama to them. If I detect that these women have serious anger or psychological issues just brewing below the surface (tip: you can see it in their eyes), I run the other way. The old me used to agree to get a cup of coffee or go on that first date, if you will, to see if we connect. Now I pass on getting together if I sense that a particular woman has a lot of turbulence going on in her life. I can't go there anymore. I don't have the patience, the interest, nor the time. And that feels like such a weight off my shoulders. I now surround myself with bright female friends who are real, down to earth, laid back, and who are far from being drama divas. They don't psycho-babble at me and they don't eat me up alive. These friendships are balanced - there's a give and take if you will - and that makes me happy.