I'm a generalist. I can smooze with the brightest of them on a plethora of subjects but my knowledge of each subject matter is quite limited. And I feel boxed in by those limitations. I envy those who know a lot about one thing and are sought after to expound on the particulars of something. So then I ask myself - what subject matter would I want to know in minute detail? That's the big question and I think if I could figure that out, I'd know what my future holds. Becoming a specialist would require going back to school and I'm not opposed to doing that - at any age. Nabbing a nursing degree has been in the back of my mind. Becoming an historian of some kind has piqued my interest. Getting my MBA (or going to a community college and getting an associate business degree) so that I would be ready to start my own business like a Bed & Breakfast or a cupcake shop or a company that makes healthy meals to be delivered to moms on maternity leave. Becoming a therapist/counselor. Obtaining my yoga teacher training certificate.
Feeling exceptionally skilled in one area is important to me. I'd feel more confident about myself and hopefully, I'd make my sons proud. They'd have a mom who was doing it all but still had the time and the energy for them, always. Once both kids are in school full time, though, there's no reason for me to "stay at home". My mom was always there when we got off the bus at 3pm and I'd like to do the same for my boys. But that still leaves 9am-3pm to challenge myself mentally, physically, and spiritually.
Years down the road when Dax starts looking at colleges, I will be gently nudging him toward degrees in engineering, medince, law, architecture, economics, business, technology, etc. I'm not against Dax obtaining a liberal arts degree but I'll let him know that I personally felt "green" when looking for work after graduation. The choices were too open and undefined. And my voice felt squeaky and small. Not to mention, the salaries were miserably low and that, too, doesn't help to feed a healthy ego. I needed to feel armed with concrete skills in a particular area and I did not.
So it's brainstorming time for now and I think the more I write, the closer I'll get to figuring out what I want to do when I'm all grown-up.